Author Profile
Aida Calder
Aida Calder has been a follower of Christ for over 30 years and her ministry experiences have been many and varied. Because of her love for youth and her desire to see them become all that God created them to be, she worked with teens for a number of years as a volunteer youth leader and she is currently employed in a public high school where she works with students who are at risk to drop out without graduating.
In addition to being an encourager of people, Aida is gifted as an administrator and was the founder of a successful women’s ministry, The Deborah Generation, and has served as secretary and vice-president of her local chapter of Women’s Aglow. As a writer and teacher, she has published numerous articles explaining God’s love and grace. Having a desire to make this information available on a more widespread basis, she developed a blog, Forgetting the Former Things. She is considered by some to be an expert in spiritual abuse recovery and has published a number of articles on the subject of spiritual abuse. These can be found on her second blog, Setting the Captives Free.
Aida’s desire to see the church experience the fullness of life in Christ has led her to become actively involved in The Free Believers Network where she serves on the board as well as moderating the website forum.
Aida lives in South Carolina with her husband, Charlie. They are the parents of two children, Laura and Matthew, and they have six grandchildren.
Articles: here | Blogs: forgettingtheformerthings.blogspot.com | no-more-chains.blogspot.com
Thoughts on Prayer - Aida Calder
A dear friend of mine, a woman of deep prayer and great wisdom, shared with me her thoughts on prayer. I thought they were so profound that I wanted to share it with my readers and she has graciously agreed to allow me to post them here. I know you’ll be encouraged. So, sit back and enjoy what Linda has to say about her times of intimate conversation with her Father. To read more about Linda, check out my previous post.
Linda’s Thoughts on Prayer
A daily touch with God – from the deepest most intimate places in our heart and mind. A sharing of all needs and wants. To give our most sincere thanks for everything – whether it be big or small, material and human, emotional or life. He is there ALWAYS to listen and understand our prayers.
Like a daily talk with a very dear friend. Not always getting the answer we want but He is ALWAYS there to listen. Like having a “dear Father” to lay your head on his shoulder, especially in times of trouble. Needs, worries – He is there!
When I have a very serious need no matter what kind, I talk to Him like he is my best friend because he really is!! I talk day or night – driving, working, during the night, just when I am deep in thought about a particular need, whether it be my need or the need of a dear friend or family member – I know all I have to do is say “Father.” He is there!! What a wonderful gift he has blessed us with, to the able to share everything with him. I always try to remember to spend more time praising and thanking him:
1) Just for being God and always being there.
2) For seeing our needs always and answering our prayers.
3) For the comfort he only can give, letting us know he is so constant and ever mindful of us and our human weakness.
4) I sometimes sing during prayer. If I have a song in my heart about one particular situation, I will sing it to my Father. He gave us all those beautiful hymns and he loves to hear them, from our hearts and voices. So I give them back to Him.
When I have a friend, like Aida who shares a need with me, I can’t wait to talk to Father about it because I love her. Prayer is another way of expressing love. When you call their name to a loving Father, from a heart of love, about someone you love – It is all about LOVE!
One more thing about prayer, you never have to be ashamed to tell Him anything or ask anything of him. He already knows anyway but he wants to hear from our lips and hearts. He has developed "a need – love – faith – trust method" to help us see how we must feel about Him.
I pray out loud when I can. It is good for our own ears to hear what we say to the Father. It is a reminder that we are talking to our wonderful God and that we evidently believe there is someone listening or we wouldn’t be talking to Him.
When our Father sent his Son Jesus to be the savior of the world, he not only sent a bundle of himself in the flesh, he sent all his love and to be able to access that love, we need prayer. That is why I believe prayer is love. For, when we pray, we do so because we love, either us or someone else. All out of Love.
In prayer, we not only give our thoughts and prayers to God, we give ourselves to him and to each other. Truly united in prayer and supplication for our brothers and sisters.
“Sweet hour of prayer, Sweet hour of prayer
That calls me from a life of care
He bids me at my Father’s throne
Makes all my wants and wishes known.
In seasons of despair and grief,
My soul has found relief
I’ll lay on him, my every care and lean on him
Sweet hour of prayer.”
That was my granddaddy’s favorite hymn. I can hear him singing all over his farm. He believed and loved our Father with all his heart. Many times, I saw him on his knees in prayer. He lived through some very bad times but I don’t ever remember his faith ever wavering. I believe it was because his prayer life was the most wonderful thing about his life. He always blessed his food and asked God for every good and perfect gift. He was a strong man and made no bones about how much he loved God.
I know where he is right now – Singing with Jesus in heaven.
Linda
Watering the Kernels of Truth - Aida Calder
Lately, God has been changing how I look at the people around me and what I’ve been focusing on. I’m seeing more and more that this journey isn’t about who’s right and who’s wrong but it’s about people and relationships. Religion has convinced us that what we believe is what is most important and we have to do whatever we can to convince others of our truths. While I do think it’s important to have correct doctrine, I think we’ve blown it all out of proportion and the result is that believers think that it’s their job to correct wrong beliefs, even the smallest ones.
The truth is that the Holy Spirit is the teacher of the church and, while he may work through other believers, he usually does it through relationships. In concentrating its emphasis on correct doctrine, I believe the church has gotten off and the result has been a church that is divided into various camps based on what each group believes. The result is anger and vicious attacks on one another and on those outside of the camp.
However, when we focus on relationships, the fighting stops. While I’m not saying that we should compromise our beliefs, I do believe we need to recognize and appreciate the kernels of truth that are in all of us because each of us has some aspect of truth that’s alive in us. I’m coming to believe that instead of focusing on what I view as a person’s wrong thinking and feeling like I have to fix it, I now want to water and encourage those kernels of truth that are shining so brightly in them and watch them grow.
Recently, one of my friends was describing a conversation he had had with another mutual friend of ours. During the conversation, our mutual friend said, “I don’t care if you’re right or wrong. I care about you.”
That simple statement exploded in my heart. I really believe that’s the secret to this journey in Christ. I’ve determined that this is how I want to live my life, seeing and encouraging the life of Christ that’s in each of us and giving others the freedom to grow and to discover truth in their own way and time.
Killing the Heart - Aida Calder
The heart is the fountain or wellspring of life. It contains the essence of who we are so that’s why God has chosen to live within our hearts. Because it is the place where God has chosen to meet with us, it’s critical that we guard our hearts.
Religion by its nature is an enemy of the heart because it attacks it by telling us that our hearts are wicked and can’t be trusted. This creates insecurity because it causes us to distrust the voice of God who speaks to us from our heart. This false teaching is actually based on an Old Covenant verse which doesn’t apply to us today. Instead as children of God under a new covenant, we’ve been given a new heart which is infused with the life of God.
Discussing spiritual abuse, Jim Robbins said that “This abuse may not even be intentional, but kills the heart nonetheless.” Since the heart is the wellspring of life, it’s critical that it be protected. Wellspring is defined as “a source or supply of anything, esp. when considered inexhaustible.” In other words, God’s life in us can’t be exhausted. It never comes to an end nor can its supply be depleted unless we allow a cap to be placed on our heart.
Instead of trusting the heart, religion depends on externals and it imposes a standard of obligation that’s impossible to keep. Therefore, we’re left feeling like we’re never good enough. No matter how much we read our Bible, we feel like we could have read it more. We spend an hour in prayer and we feel good until we read about the person who prays three hours a day, EVERY day. Then, the guilt sets in. It increases even more when we read about the person who fasts regularly and even does a 40 day fast EVERY year. Stories about believers who have been imprisoned or killed for their faith while we struggle with our 9:00-5:00 jobs make us feel uncommitted.
Those unfair comparisons rob our hearts of life and cripple us.
I love the description of God as a potter. A potter is an artist, a craftsman. He takes an ugly lump of clay and, out of it, he fashions a thing of beauty . . . a one of a kind piece of pottery. There is no other vessel exactly like it nor will there ever be.
It’s the same with us. We’re God’s unique creation. We’re one of a kind because there never has been anyone else exactly like us nor will there ever be.
Religion, however, takes our uniqueness and destroys it. It produces a group of cookie cutter Christians who follow the external rules of behavior instead of following the promptings of their newly created hearts. The truth is that a cap has been placed over their hearts and God’s life can no longer flow the way he intended.
In order to be fully alive, we have to break free and recover our good and noble heart. Until we do, we’ll continue to believe that our hearts can’t be trusted thereby effectively silencing God’s method of guidance in our lives. The truth is the Holy Spirit lives in us so we don’t need anyone to tell us what to do or what not to do since He is always available to teach us and to guide us.
Recently in a conversation with a friend, I told her that I don’t feel like I need to go to church anymore. She said, “So you think you know everything?” She caught me off guard and all I could think to say was, “No but I don’t think the man talking knows everything either.” Looking back at that conversation, I now think the correct response should have been, “Yes! I do know everything because God is in me and he knows everything. What I now need to do is re-connect with my heart so that I can know what he knows.”
I believe we’ve really under estimated what this new life should look like and it’s time that we change the way we view our hearts. We need to believe the truth about our good hearts and protect them at all cost from the lies that tell us that we’re not good enough.
Savoring the Lord's Supper - Aida Calder
I’ve been on Weight Watchers now for about a year and a half. Since I’m still in the process of losing weight and trying to learn to eat healthy, I think it’s great whenever I find an article that gives me suggestions that I can use to develop a healthier lifestyle.
I tend to eat too quickly so recently, when I read an article about eating slowly, it immediately caught my attention. The author said it takes time about 20 minutes for our sense of full to kick in so when we gobble our food too quickly, we don’t give ourselves enough time to feel full. So, as a result, we tend to overeat. Instead, the article said that we need to eat slowly and savor eat bite. This is a concept that I’m trying to learn but unfortunately I’ve usually consumed most of my meal before I remember to slow down and savor it.
In the Christian religion, a tradition has developed which is called the Lord’s Supper. In this tradition, the participants sit quietly in neat rows while they are each given a tiny piece of bread to eat and a thimbleful of grape juice to drink. When the activity is over, they’re told that they’ve just participated in the Lord’s Supper. I believe this tradition cheapens the meaning of the Lord’s Supper. The Lord’s Supper was never meant to be tiny snack quickly consumed in a mournful atmosphere. Instead, it was supposed to be a full meal enjoyed by the family of God.
Dictionary.com defines savor as “to give oneself to the enjoyment of: to savor the best in life.”
I think this is a great description of how we’re supposed to eat the Lord’s Supper. It’s a time to relax and savor the meal in a thankful, joyful atmosphere surrounded by family and friends. Instead of sitting quietly and eating, it should be a time filled with conversation and laughter as we celebrate our lives together as believers.
Today, it’s known that an important part of healthy family life is the time when the family gathers around the dinner table and shares with one another the events of their day. We live in a busy society where during the day, family members are scattered going their separate ways. The communal family dinner is important for keeping the family together. Of course, some families sit at the same table and each eats his or her own meal in total silence so the food really isn’t what’s important. What is important is that each member takes time away from his or her busy schedule to connect with the others in a meaningful way and this always involves conversation and sharing.
The same is true for God’s family. As we gather together and share our lives over a meal, relationships are formed. Instead of being a people of rituals and traditions, as children of God, we’re to be people of relationship.
I believe the Lord’s Supper actually takes place when the church gathers for a covered dish supper. Each participant brings a meal to share with the rest of the family. As they gather to eat and share the events of their lives, walls come down in this relaxed atmosphere. Together, they remember and re-count the blessings of their salvation and the family experiences the unity of fellowship. Before his death, Jesus asked God to bring the church into oneness with one another and also with him and God. I believe the unity of fellowship that is experienced when the church gathers together to eat a meal is an answer to this request.
Winter: a season of rest - Aida Calder
Winter has traditionally been associated with death but actually it’s a time of dormancy, a time of rest and refreshing.
This is obvious in nature. Bears and other animals hibernate during the winter and wake up from their rest when spring arrives. Plants and trees also rest during the winter and once again begin to blossom and bloom when winter is over. This time of rest and renewing is critical for life to continue.
Our lives should also be characterized by times of rest and inactivity. However, we live in a society that pushes us to constant activity. Most of us live in a whirlwind of activity that is emotionally and physically exhausting.
Religious systems also tend to promote this treadmill of constant activity. Sundays are packed with Sunday School, morning services and then often followed by evening services. In addition, there are mid-week Bible studies, prayer groups and various other meetings. Life in these systems seem to center around constant activity.
I’ve heard many people who are now out of the system describe their time there as exhausting. I don’t believe this is the way Father intended us to live. Ecclesiastes says that “there is a time for everything and a season for every activity under heaven.” Seasons come and seasons go. There are seasons of growth and harvest but there are also seasons of rest when nothing seems to be happening. After a season of activity, it’s often difficult to adjust to our seasons of quiet.
Our first thought is that we’ve somehow displeased God and he’s turned away from us. We search our hearts to see if there’s any sin we’ve committed. We pray and we cry. We read our Bibles seeking a word from God. When none comes, we get desperate and we fast hoping for a breakthrough.
Often, during this time, it seems as though God has put us on a shelf as ministry opportunities dry up and stop. Our natural tendency is to try to make something happen. However, I believe that this isn’t a season for ministry and activity. It’s a season to sink our roots more deeply into Father’s love and to allow our relationship with him to be strengthened. I believe that if we yield to this time of inactivity, Father will work deeply in us as we rest in him.
In a vineyard, the vines are pruned during the winter when all growth has stopped and sap is no longer flowing. Pruning is necessary in order to remove damaged or unhealthy growth from the vine. During our times of rest, Father will heal and restore us to greater health and vitality by removing from our lives those desires and distractions that weaken us.
In a vineyard, however, healthy growth is also cut away in the pruning process. A healthy vine will each year produce many branches on which there will be many clusters of grapes. If not pruned, this excess growth will weaken the vine causing it to produce an inferior crop. Over time, the weakened vine becomes subject to disease and insect attacks.
In a similar fashion, Father will cause us to focus on fewer things. During a season of fruitfulness, opportunities are multiplied and we try to be involved as much as possible. However, Father is calling us to a life of fruitfulness without the busyness.
Wayne Jacobsen says, “No season of ministry is open-ended. God harvests in specific seasons through specific people. If we recognize this fact, we can allow specific harvest times to come to completion – and then we can celebrate and let go.”
To read and understand more about these seasons, I recommend Wayne Jacobsen’s book “In My Father’s Vineyard.” This is an excellent book which is now out of print but can still be purchased through Amazon.com.
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